Lost Love

All claim to be experts on Love, but for you to be so vain, to claim you know how I feel, what and think is absolute vanity. Seems to be that most people have an opinion, but what exactly is missing, is the ‘informed’ opinion.

You claim the tone of one’s words are so important. One’s exact living, depending who you know and how wealthy you may seem, is all that counts. How you say something is more important than what you are actually saying.

The important question is not who or where but why?

Disappointment in the so-called ‘real’ and “social” conversation, in our personal day to day lives, has turned into a Rap song on a strange cocktail of drugs and ego.

It is better to be silent than spout about something you know nothing about.

This is a state of affairs. A shared language depended on tone and feelings.

But what if these so-called “shared language”, depending on tone and feeling, suddenly change? Would you try or remain steadfast or move with how you actually feel?

Sometimes Love is about choosing between one and another.

Feeling rises like the Phoenix out of the Ashes, moving, turning towards and being honest.

The question on most people’s lips or minds is:

Do you Love me? I mean Really Love me?

When you realize that the ‘Love’ they once had for you has moved on to a different state of affairs, that they still love you, but for some act of, something, i.e., trust, boredom, what you once had together has gone and will never return.

This state of affairs is sad because the love continues but in a different form.

In the end acceptance is the key.

The last time you saw her and departed from the home, her last question from her lips was, out of the darkness of the front porch:

“Don’t be a stranger? I just didn’t want to bother you, make things worse, you know what I mean? I still love…



I just didn’t want to bother you, make things worse, you know what I mean?”

I stood at the bottom of the drive, looking up at her silhouette, as the porch light expanded behind her head and her face.

My thought: I’d love to see you and talk to you! You mean a lot to me, and I will never let that go! But can she be serious? How can we be “friends” now?

“Ok, I’ll ring or something.”

“That would be really good.”

I had to look up at the outline of light and her silhouette, turning away and walking down the stairs. Once to the car, looking back to the porch again, her position had not changed: she was open but dark, somehow in the same tone and manner, simultaneously. Open though mysterious; an enigma which millennia of deep thought & anguish would never ever decipher… would ever really know.

Driving away, her deep brown eyes continued to fill my thoughts…

How would I ever forget the feeling associated with those lovely eyes?

Time propels forward out of your control, but you know ‘this too will pass’; but in your heart of hearts, she will be forever in your dreams and thought…someone you’ll try to forget to avoid the pain, and never will.

Love is so strange because it involves so much: kindness, lust, obsession, admiration, selfishness and selflessness, and the felling that the possibility that you will never see them again is not even imaginable.

Though one’s life continues, no matter how painful one feels.

Though this is the thought that sooths while you experience the moment.

My feelings will never change but will become shrouded in time, leaving me with only a subtle flash, a split second image of your Love.