Romantic Love

"To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides."

To experience the love from another and feel the same intensity of love for them, is nothing less than a miracle.

Romantic Love, one could say, is an illusion or as Oscar Wilde once said , "...a kind of madness."

But if you've ever experienced romantic love, particularly later in your life, it's a dream, a drama, so intense, and all so beautiful.

One wakes up of a morning and they're the first thought of the day: When will I see her, how was her evening, and, of course the thought of making love; kissing or simply holding hands on a brisk morning stroll.

To feel "butter flies" in one's stomach just before picking her up for a dinner date, even though you've been together for a year, and offering flowers at the door for no other reason other than the fact that it makes her happy, is a pure joy.

The cynical will say that romantic love is fleeting and only lasts so long, then the relationship becomes a routine.

This is not entirely true for some because that spark or burning passion never goes away.

Romance, if true, can last a life time.

Every kiss is like the first kiss, every meeting is a new beginning; and making love is different and more wonderful and passionate every time.

I've known couples who have been married for 30 years and continue to hold hands, and the occasional kiss on the cheek while watching the TV or at the movies.

Simply being in each other's space is pure joy and a kind of happiness that only Love can create.

Romance, love and devotion still exists...and it is a miracle.

Giving

Generosity is giving more than you can, and pride is taking less than you need.

Kahlil Gibran


I've always understood the act of generosity as an act of selfless giving.

The true 'Giver' will offer all they have without a hint of a grude or with the thought or words of "Now you owe me!"

What is it to give with grace?

I believe it is to offer what you have to somebody with courtesy and decency with "no strings attached".

Some years ago while at university, there was a particular character who wrote for the university newspaper, pulled weight in the student Union, righting wrongs for his fellow students and so intelligent, however at the time he was on heroine but managed to keep it all together. Another friend who also worked for the University paper came from money and, of course, always had plenty in his pocket. We'll call our intelligent heroine addict Simon and our rich friend, Jack.

Living on only student payouts from the government, Simon could barely eat, let alone support a heroine habit. But when ever he needed a little cash, (usually $50), he'd ask Jack, and without hesitation, give Simon his much needed $50 for food or whatever else he required because in Jack's eye's, once you "lend" someone money, never expect to get it back. In my eyes, good old Jack gave with decency and grace. In the end, so many years later, Jack is a philosophy lecturer and Simon is a big wig in one of the top publishing firms in the country and, incidently, off the stuff.

I believe if it wasn't for Jack's generosity and giving with utter grace, Simon would not be where he is today - more than likely this highly intelligent man would be dead.

I really think that to give begrudgingly has no ethical value, the act means absolutely nothing.

Another example: when asked, a "friend" does you a much needed favour and while doing it complains, makes personal judgements and expects a return in one form or another; they shouldn't even make the effort, because more than likely, the act will do more harm than good - for the giver and the one receiving.

The spirit in which a thing is given determines that in which the debt is acknowledged; it's the intention, not the face-value of the gift, that's weighed.

Seneca

Yes, it the intention of one's giving, its selfless aura, which makes the act that much more valuable.

To Give with Grace has great significance for all concerned.

Books

When I am attacked by gloomy thoughts, nothing helps me so much as running to my books. They quickly absorb me and banish the clouds from my mind.
Michel de Montaigne
French essayist (1533 - 1592)

As a German philosopher once said, paraphrased, "If there was no music in the world, life would not be worth living." I would add books to that statement without reservation.

Though attributed with a deep imagination, it is impossible for me to imagine a life without books.

Books can transport you to places never envisaged; introduce you to people you would most certainly like to meet but never will; take you into the minds of the great or the most evil; just the act of reading a good book, as de Montaigne states above, "...can banish the clouds from my mind."

After teaching English in middle and secondary school for some years now, students would rather stick molten nails into their ignorant eyes than read a book. Well it should go without saying, there's too much to see and do: TV, movies, video games, friends, sport, cars and interest in the opposite sex to have a spare 15 minutes to read a book - books are for "geeks".

Have books become an acquired taste?

To answer that question, I would have to say, no.

The appreciation for books start at home, not at school.

My mother and less so, my father, books were something almost sacred, relics of knowledge and experience, objects to be revered and respected. Read to as a child every night, I remember I couldn't wait to have the ability to read myself. My mother was always reading and father would mainly at night before bed. Books were always in the house.

When I hear a student say, "I hate reading, too hard...boring." Even after years of teaching my stomach ties in knots and I have to remind myself that an appreciation for books had never been cultivated in the home.

Is it my job to get some of these children interested at such a late stage in their lives? Well, yes, that's my job...and there are a few wins.

But once they get it, it never leaves them.

The written word is a gift from the gods and a good story more often does more good than harm.

If there were no books in the world, life would not be worth living.

Books to the ceiling, Books to the sky, My pile of books is a mile high. How I love them! How I need them! I'll have a long beard by the time I read them.

Arnold Lobel

Character

"Strong feelings do not necessarily make a strong character. The strength of a man is to be measured by the power of the feelings he subdues not by the power of those which subdue him."

William Carleton

This quote reminds me of the writings from the famous Roman Emperor and Stoic, Marcus Aurelius, whose philsophy centres around self-control, specifically one's negative emotions that we all possess as human beings.

To have this ability requires a presence of mind, "mindful" of the present moment and the appropriate repsonse to a situation or individual.

This does not come natural to the human being.

Similar to all the Virtues, patience and presence of mind needs practice like riding a bike or playing the piano.

Next time you're doing the dishes or washing the car, attempt to remain in present time and not let your mind waunder - you'll find it very difficult.

A lot of us have strong feelings about our own opinions, our egos, and the "need" to be right can cause one to 'react' rather than 'respond' after thinking about what has just been said or done.

To "subdue" or temper and be aware of one's negative emotions is a sign of true character.

"You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself one."

James A. Froude
English historian (1818 - 1894)

Virtue or true character are not innate but "hammered and forged" throughout a life time.

You may be an interesting ""character" (funny, eccentric or charming), but to have character is an entirely different thing.

Change.

The old cliche' that "change is as good as a holiday", may be true in some cases though a disaster for one who runs their life by strict routines. For these people, any disruption at all to their day to day activities can and will cause untold misery.

But isn't life, generally, about change?

We're born, grow to be toddlers, begin our first day at school, become teenagers, move into adulthood and, hopefully, meet someone that we can love; following this is marriage, the creation of those cute little rug rats then, before you realize it, one's children become teenagers, grow into adulthood, marry and suddenly you've become a grandparent.

You ponder: Where has the time gone?

Life is about change, however, resistance to change seems to be part of our natures.

Why?

In an attempt not to be too philosophical, change in any form, either consciously or unconsciously, equates to our death.

If you can somehow maintain the status quo, one's death can be delayed (at least in your mind) because your situation, activities, day to day routines remain the same. In a strange way, routine without change can make us somehow believe that death is far away; without change we can go on forever.

A good example is the middle aged accountant who has worked in the same cubical for many years. One day he's told that he has to move offices because the company is growing and more space is needed because a slew of young guns have been hired to keep the company growing.

"But Jack, I've had this office for twenty-five years, can't some other arrangements be made?"

"Sorry old boy, this has come down from the top. But you'll love your new office. It's bigger and you're also closer to the water cooler!"

He finds his new office slightly bigger and it is closer to the water cooler, but this change in his life brings on depression, as if his life has been turned upside down.

This change, whether a good move or not, creates so much anxiety, that he eventually has a cardiac arrest, and dies. All because of a simple change in space.

What we must understand is that change on this planet is inevitable, we are changing all the time, and yes, death too, is inevitable.

My personal mind-set is to accept change as opportunities rather than hints of my impending old age and certain death.

For me, as a person of routine, have been attempting to accept change as opportunities, because change has become all encompassing over the last two years...though, hopefully, life will settle down and my certain death, an occurence somewhere in the far future.


Change is a Reality.

What will the Future Hold?

I found it interesting that my last entry concerned teacher wages, and the next day, the government made a deal, ensuring beginning and experienced teachers a substantial pay rise, however, with certain conditions.

In the Australian press, the pay rise read to be more than generous, but as with all governments, one must justify one's spending.

In a staff meeting on Tuesday, the Union press release was read aloud to all staff. Not having read the document, the piece sounded like a convoluted mess.

A "give and take" deal that really made no sense.

The most ludicrist of all was that teachers must work an extra 10 minutes a day.

Excuse me?

Let me just say, teachers work more hours than the ratified Union agreements - aside from "face to face" teaching, there is lesson planning, phone calls to parents at unusual hours, lunch time detentions, after school detentions; coaching sport, rehearsing, after school and at lunch, the school's next theatrical performance. Enforced "personal development" time, when you are concerned about a student whose parents have booted them out and they now sleep on the school's oval.

(Today a student's parent rang up and said "We're moving, and I expect the school to feed my boy." So we spend our time finding ways to feed the boy during the week and hoping he has a roof over his head.)

The list goes on but there is no point. Unless you are a true teacher, committed to the learning and welfare of your students, no one, not even our politicians, have a clue.

To be sure, I'm thankful for the pay rise, although souding like an acountants nightmare of percentages, over years, might come true, eventually.

As written in the last BLOG, everyone "thinks" being a teacher is a cake-walk, but when 50% of all beginning teachers quit after only three years, should tell us that it is a difficult profession and society should treat it as such and reward it as such, otherwise, what will our future hold?

Teaching & to be a Teacher.

Why in the Western World, apart from Russia, are the teacher's of our young so poorly paid?

This has never made sense to me, and if logically studied, a logical answer cannot be found.

As a teacher of secondary school, when our adolescent students are emotionally and physically changing at the speed of light, and the problems these children face is, more often than not, terribly dramatic; not to mention their home lives, the teacher must play many roles:

Teacher

Carer

friend

psychologist

Sounding Board

mentor

motivator

A teacher must have their best interests at heart.

In most cases, this children come from broken homes, thus the teacher is their point of safty and stable 'parent', because their home's are in utter chaos.

As a teacher we must wear many hats, work long hours, at school and at home to ensure these young people have the opportunity to be the best they can be and, hopefully, future contributors' in our society.

Similar to most 'jobs', we have good days and bad. But in the end, the teacher is most happy when a student actually learns something, making the connection to what they have learned to real life.

In Australia, students with disabilities, i.e., ADHD, Autism, broken homes leading to unruly behaviour, Asbergers, etc, are not suitably funded to handle such children in, for example, a classroom of 25 students. Yes, we have teacher assistance in the form of "intergration aids", but these individuals are not trained to successfully handle these children. Thus the responsibility comes back to the classroom teacher. We modify the work for them, but often, (depending if they have taken their medication) will disrupt the other 90% of the class and learning does not occur - these are the bad days.

Teaching is a difficult profession and we deal or cope with what resources are available.

To be honest, Im tired of the old cliche, that teachers get too many holidays, therefore their low pay is somehow justified. We work many hours at home and school, therefore the hours do not even come close to the holiday time.

The irony, really, is that during a political campaign, most often the main issue is education, but once voted into office, the successful party, ignore the issue.

It only takes Union Protest to remind these overpaid politicians what the situation with education is truly about...(and it is not ideal by any stretch of the imagination.)

What is a tragedy is that 50% of graduate teacher' resign within the first 3 years because the work is too hard, and the remuneration, ridiculous.

Teaching is a Noble profession. A great teacher can change a young person's life to then turn them into greatness...and I've seen it many times.

I truly believe that the profession of teaching is a 'calling', it is in your blood and bones.

These overpaid politicians need to wake-up and smell the coffee, attracting smart people who are more than capable to teach our young and paid well for their huge contribution to our future society.

True Kindness and a Real Friend.

This week has been one of the worst, emotionally, for a very long time. Why?

When suddenly you've had a moment of clarity, the "pieces of the puzzle finally falling into place", and you have realized that you've been used and manipulated, for some years, it is a terrible feeling.

To have the power to remove another's sense of self is dangerous, and it does happen and, unfortunatelty, too frequently.

But you continue to 'love' this person, hoping circumstances might change...this does not happen when you are dealing with a self-cognizant manipulator.

I guess it is the thought that you have really been used; invested time, so much love and money, ignoring the other people in your life that you love and care for, then it all comes to not...

Their true colours reveal themselves and denial is the first port of call.

"How could I have been so stupid!" (An ego thing.)

The emotional tail spin is all too real.

Life now seems out of control, everything that you trust now is untrustworthy.

Then, out of the blue, you receive a package from an old friend, (just when you're about to give up) and inside the package is a book, a philosophical text that is rare.

He knows you love this writer, and running across it in a second hand book store, decides to buy the text and send it to you. (Even though he really can't afford it.)

This thoughtful act of kindness pulled me out of the haze of denial and self-pity, knowing that there is a sensitive friend who cares, selflessly.

Stronger now because of my friend's selfless action, life is now worth living.

True kindness, selfless kindness, is one of the greatest attributes a human being can have...and my friend, well, at this time, without knowing it, you saved my emotional life, and you have given me back my love for the world and humankind.

Thank you.

Another Great Artist from the Repin Academy.

This painting is of another world.

However who's world is it?

There is a hint of the 19th century, the beautiful dress and umbrella; the woman gazing at the sea. Look at the tree above her and the detail, time that the artist invested to reflect what he really sees, that contrasts the entire painting in every other aspect. (The woman is not the centre piece but the tree above her.)

When sketching a "live" object of the world, somtimes it is nesessary to reflect, as close as possible, its 'true' form.

What this artist has created is a meld of Impression and the human artists' striving for the Real.

But one gets the impression that he is playing with us: the model's head is unusually small; there are glimpses of objects and "things" that at a cursory glance one would not see...similar to a Renaissance work, there are hidden symbols.

My eyes, when gazing at this work, move to the leaves above her and the ground below her feet.

One Real the other Impression, giving the work, as said before, something not of this world.

The painter is of the Repin School in St. Petersburg, whose reputation for combining styles is well known in Russian circles:

Joseph Tali is the painter of this particular work.

This work by Tali is now part of a "private" collection.

Exemplary.