It was sometime yesterday or last week, (my time perceptions are meshing) while travelling into the city of Melbourne for no reason other than to feel the energy of its streets, a beautiful young girl, no more than 25 years of age, suddenly fell into a deep grief, sobbing, not the wailing type, though a quiet somewhat restrained release of pure sadness.
The woman’s sadness was palpable, contagious as I felt like weeping with her. No, I thought, do not interrupt, and let her sadness release naturally.
At first I felt compelled to ask her if there was anything I could do to ease her pain. I wanted to help her but did not have the courage to do so…
Our train reached Flinders Street Station and finally came to a grinding halt. The passengers began standing up, gathering their belongings…but I waited. I could not even bring myself to look at her out of fear of possibly embarrassing the woman.
After a few moments, when most of the passengers had left the train, she gathered her small back pack and headed towards the outside platform. I slowly stood up too, trying to be as nonchalant as possible, walked directly behind her with the only thought in my mind: is there anything I could do to help this woman experiencing so much grief and sadness.
As we walked along the crowded platform, I could not help looking in her direction. I noticed her long auburn hair caught under the strap of her carry bag; where, ever so gently and with such grace, pulled her hair out from under the strap. She lifted her head, her body pushed consciously straight up and true as she ascended the escalators with the rest of the crowd. Through observing her subtle body movements, I saw a raw courage in a fellow soul ; feeling so much sadness only moments before, deciding to carry on with life despite life’s pain.
There are moments that require us to ‘intervene’ in a strangers’ life, and the motivation to act is instinctive. In this case, a mere kind word might have helped this beautiful young woman, but out of a cowardess, chose to sit back and let the important moment slip by.
I regret this moment but must remember to act in the future when at least a simple kind word might ease someone’s pain…if only a little.
1 comment:
It's hard to know if the 'intervention', no matter how well intentioned, would have helped her or been taken by her as an intrusion.
Sadness is one of those experiences that, it seems, really cannot be shared. In such moments it seems that all others are more completely 'other' than ever. If she had taken your kind words in the spirit in which they were offered, in good faith, they still probably could not have penetrated into her sadness so much as to sooth it for even a moment. Your words may have been recognised and welcomed as an act of kindness, in itself, but as having nothing to do with her sadness.
None of what I've said helps with regard to working out what we should or shouldn't do in such a situation. Maybe it just comes down to some kind of intuition. And maybe yours was right.
We never really know.
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