Tuesday, September 11, 2007

The Emotion of Sadness


The emotion of sadness throughout my life has never really manifested in its most all-consuming form. In my superficial thought-wanderings, I’ve always equated the emotion of sadness with grief. My conclusion was sadness and grief are in the same “genre”, so to speak, but to experience sadness alone without the grief is a new experience for me. Included in this emotional genre, if you will, is sorrow.

Most of us have experienced sorrow when a loved one passes on, this is only natural: however the emotion of sorrow and grieving are interlinked in a profound way.

The death of a loved one brings forth sorrow and a grieving process begins, and as the old cliché states, “Time Heals”; which is more than likely the last the thing a person in grief wants or needs to hear.

I’ve lost family members who’ve passed on and felt deeply sorrowful, angry and so on. Death is part of life, but we sometimes terribly miss those we love that pass on, and it sometimes can go on for many years. It is just the way it is on this planet, which, really, for the most part, we do exist on a “pain planet”.

My point is that sadness can almost be classified as an emotion without sorrow or grief – this emotion can be felt all alone.

This notion came to me this week while spending a delightful (in the end) evening with my only sister who really knows me, she said “When our sister died, you were grieving, when father died you were grieving, but looking at you at this moment, knowing you for so long, I’ve never seen such sadness in your eyes.”

To attempt to describe this emotion, sadness, as not part of sorrow or grieving is difficult.

One walks at a slower pace, like wading through water. Complete strangers on the street look at you and their expressions reveal concern. You are aware how you feel, and have been indoctrinated not to feel this emotion, but it continues despite all efforts to rid oneself of it. Then, of course the guilt sets in for feeling sad in the first place. Sadness brings on attitudes of meaninglessness, the world losses it colour, its purpose, its true Beauty.

Years ago I would have blocked this emotion of extreme sadness into the recesses of forgotten memory. ‘It’s not right to feel this way, banish it from your mind and pretend it doesn’t exist.’ This strategy has worked in the past, but in time it surfaces again, and usually at the most inopportune moments.

This BLOG was never meant to be a “confessional” or day-to-day diary of my life, which really I find adolescent – one never wears one’s emotions on one’s sleeve – though today the emotion of sadness prevailed and my only thought to combat it was to write about it.

I feel no grief, I feel no sorrow only a deep sadness – and this too will pass.









1 comment:

Kitten said...

Yes, this sadness will pass.
Unfortunately this is an emotion that we have to go thru on this "pain planet". It is part of this lifetime, and has been a big part of our other lifetimes.
Let us hope that in our next lifetime we will have earned more moments of happiness than pain.