I wanted to post the prologue to my novel, and if it would possibly grab the potential reader's attention and motivate them to continue. I have no working title as yet, however, its central theme is the recovery of the protagonist's true identity.
PROLOGUE
The strange has become the mundane. Nothing can surprise us anymore. Not anything, it seems, has the capacity to astonish, to excite us, to make us believe in the possibility of the miraculous. Cynicism is the new social pose.
A young man, over time, slowly conditioned to a shallow state of cynicism through the television and film. Later, as a university student, searching for a greater high in drugs, sex and dangerous sporting activities – the ultimate adrenalin rush to experience something meaningful, something with definition, anything to make me feel like an individual of importance, a person above the fray. We all want to be special. The media tells us so. But as I grew older, these feelings became less intense, and I realized these grandiose dreams were a symptom of youth. It was time to grow up and be a contributing member of the community. Conformity was the key to my success. To be different was to be an outcast. One had to move with the flow, follow the crowd and always do the ‘right’ thing. This is called being safe. Always knowing what you are doing from one minute to the next, one day to the next. Surprisingly, moving into this way of life was quite simple. After changing my course degree at university from art history to business accounting, everyone from my father to my girlfriend at the time, praised the decision – the boy is finally growing up – and my life generally became a set of carefully laid out calculations and balance sheets. Predictable and safe: until the accident.
Guilt is a powerful emotion. That necessary sense of right and wrong had always been a stable and clear trait of mine. As a child I would cry myself to sleep for stealing a piece of fruit from the grocery store. So to be responsible for the death of another human being was totally unthinkable. But it happened. I killed someone. It was an accident, but I murdered her just the same. Even now, years later, the pangs of guilt can strike out of nowhere and without warning. I could be ordering a meal in a restaurant and the waitress will remind me of her: a simple mannerism, an expression in the eye, sending me plummeting to the valley of guilt. But as my mother used to tell me, there is a silver lining in every dark cloud. My silver lining, however, turned out to be pure gold.
When I think back to the chain of events leading up to the accident, my conscious mind attempts to shut down, the hard drive moves into crash mode. It is similar to watching a bad film and any effort to change the channel is futile. The film continues to run, over and over, and there’s nothing I can do to prevent it from continuing. Although there is a reason my mind relentlessly pushes these memories in my face. It is to remind me that with every tragedy come special gifts... in my case, the most powerful, all persuasive ability that could ever be bestowed on a human being. It is an ability that the human being has wished for since the beginning of time.
This may sound like a grand and absurd claim. But is it not written somewhere that one must travel through the depths of hell before being permitted entry into paradise? This cliché was certainly true for me. I committed three of the most hideous sins, one on top of the other, and was hurled into a world that one can only imagine. I keep asking myself: Was I destined to receive this wonderful gift or simply a victim of haphazard circumstances out of my control? Maybe this is the reason I’m confessing my story now through the written word: to find the reason for my great fortune.
I can hear you asking the question: What all pervasive ability and power is he talking about? Before defining this power, let me first confess the three sins that led to the chain of happenings ending in my enlightenment. The unadulterated hell I had to experience in order to move amongst the gods. Once you hear my story, then you can decide for yourselves. I only ask one thing of you: open your mind to the possibility - have patience. By doing so, you might also have the opportunity to learn these esoteric lessons. Through hearing my story, you too might find yourselves in a position to become a true initiate of the mysteries and secrets of existence.
CHAPTER ONE
Who would have known that a simple telephone call to my father from a deserted pay...
The strange has become the mundane. Nothing can surprise us anymore. Not anything, it seems, has the capacity to astonish, to excite us, to make us believe in the possibility of the miraculous. Cynicism is the new social pose.
A young man, over time, slowly conditioned to a shallow state of cynicism through the television and film. Later, as a university student, searching for a greater high in drugs, sex and dangerous sporting activities – the ultimate adrenalin rush to experience something meaningful, something with definition, anything to make me feel like an individual of importance, a person above the fray. We all want to be special. The media tells us so. But as I grew older, these feelings became less intense, and I realized these grandiose dreams were a symptom of youth. It was time to grow up and be a contributing member of the community. Conformity was the key to my success. To be different was to be an outcast. One had to move with the flow, follow the crowd and always do the ‘right’ thing. This is called being safe. Always knowing what you are doing from one minute to the next, one day to the next. Surprisingly, moving into this way of life was quite simple. After changing my course degree at university from art history to business accounting, everyone from my father to my girlfriend at the time, praised the decision – the boy is finally growing up – and my life generally became a set of carefully laid out calculations and balance sheets. Predictable and safe: until the accident.
Guilt is a powerful emotion. That necessary sense of right and wrong had always been a stable and clear trait of mine. As a child I would cry myself to sleep for stealing a piece of fruit from the grocery store. So to be responsible for the death of another human being was totally unthinkable. But it happened. I killed someone. It was an accident, but I murdered her just the same. Even now, years later, the pangs of guilt can strike out of nowhere and without warning. I could be ordering a meal in a restaurant and the waitress will remind me of her: a simple mannerism, an expression in the eye, sending me plummeting to the valley of guilt. But as my mother used to tell me, there is a silver lining in every dark cloud. My silver lining, however, turned out to be pure gold.
When I think back to the chain of events leading up to the accident, my conscious mind attempts to shut down, the hard drive moves into crash mode. It is similar to watching a bad film and any effort to change the channel is futile. The film continues to run, over and over, and there’s nothing I can do to prevent it from continuing. Although there is a reason my mind relentlessly pushes these memories in my face. It is to remind me that with every tragedy come special gifts... in my case, the most powerful, all persuasive ability that could ever be bestowed on a human being. It is an ability that the human being has wished for since the beginning of time.
This may sound like a grand and absurd claim. But is it not written somewhere that one must travel through the depths of hell before being permitted entry into paradise? This cliché was certainly true for me. I committed three of the most hideous sins, one on top of the other, and was hurled into a world that one can only imagine. I keep asking myself: Was I destined to receive this wonderful gift or simply a victim of haphazard circumstances out of my control? Maybe this is the reason I’m confessing my story now through the written word: to find the reason for my great fortune.
I can hear you asking the question: What all pervasive ability and power is he talking about? Before defining this power, let me first confess the three sins that led to the chain of happenings ending in my enlightenment. The unadulterated hell I had to experience in order to move amongst the gods. Once you hear my story, then you can decide for yourselves. I only ask one thing of you: open your mind to the possibility - have patience. By doing so, you might also have the opportunity to learn these esoteric lessons. Through hearing my story, you too might find yourselves in a position to become a true initiate of the mysteries and secrets of existence.
CHAPTER ONE
Who would have known that a simple telephone call to my father from a deserted pay...
More to come...
Emotional State: peaceful
No comments:
Post a Comment